🎯 Socially Significant Behavior: Why We Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Let’s be honest—parenting a neurodivergent child (or any child, really) comes with a daily buffet of behaviors to manage. Maybe your toddler insists on wearing a dinosaur costume to the grocery store. Or your preschooler lines up toys by color and has a meltdown if someone moves one. Or maybe your child recites every train fact known to humankind… at bedtime.

Now imagine this: Your child is joyful, safe, and able to get their needs met.

Do we really need to stop the dino costume?

Here at Compassionate Care ABA, we believe in choosing our goals wisely. We focus on socially significant behavior—skills that truly improve your child’s quality of life, not just things that make life more “convenient” for adults. Because in the big picture? Not everything needs to be a behavior goal. 💛

🔍 What Is Socially Significant Behavior?

In the world of ABA, socially significant behavior refers to skills that matter to the individual and their community—things that promote independence, safety, communication, and meaningful relationships (Baer, Wolf, & Risley, 1968).

That might include:

• Learning to request help or express needs

• Participating in daily routines like getting dressed or brushing teeth

• Building social skills for friendships or group play

• Developing coping strategies for frustration or sensory overload

• Using a communication device or learning new functional language

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These are the kinds of goals that open doors—not goals that force kids to hide their joy, uniqueness, or neurodivergent traits to “fit in.”

🚫 But What About "Fixing" Everything?

Here’s the truth: Neurodiversity isn’t a problem to be fixed. It’s a way of experiencing the world.

If a child is flapping their hands when they’re happy, scripting lines from their favorite movie, or organizing their crayons by shade—it’s probably not hurting anyone. It’s just… them.

In ABA, we avoid targeting behaviors that are:

• Harmless

• Comforting to the child

• Part of their identity

• Only inconvenient to adults

Instead, we look at the function of the behavior. Is it interfering with learning? Is it creating barriers to communication or safety? Is it causing distress to the child or others? If the answer is no—we probably don’t need to touch it.

As Dr. Greg Hanley reminds us in his work on trauma-informed ABA, the goal is happiness, dignity, and rapport—not compliance for compliance’s sake (Hanley et al., 2014).

🧠 Why This Approach Matters

Children on the autism spectrum often face enormous pressure to look and act "typical." But research and experience tell us: forcing eye contact, discouraging self-stimulatory behavior (stimming), or eliminating harmless routines can actually increase anxiety and reduce self-esteem (Bottema-Beutel et al., 2021).

When we focus on what truly matters—like building independence, teaching communication, and fostering connection—we empower children to thrive without erasing who they are.

🎉 Celebrate the Right Wins

So instead of worrying about that quirky habit or unusual interest, we cheer when a child:

• Says “no” assertively

• Asks for a break

• Tells us they’re scared or excited

• Uses the potty independently

• Plays with a peer for the first time

These are the milestones that make a difference. These are the wins that matter.

🤝 Partnering With Families on What Matters Most

At Compassionate Care ABA, we don’t set goals without you. We work with families to prioritize what’s important—your daily routines, your long-term hopes, and your child’s own preferences and needs.

You’ll never see us writing goals just to “make a child act more normal.” That’s not our mission. Our mission is to help your child feel successful, supported, and confident being exactly who they are.

Because in the end? We don’t sweat the small stuff. We celebrate the big, beautiful stuff that leads to real growth and joy. 🌟

🧩 Want to Learn More?

Whether you’re exploring services for the first time or already receiving ABA, we’re here to support you every step of the way. Our team offers home-based, preschool-based, and center-based ABA services for children ages 12 months to 5 years.

📍 Center-based services open Sept 1 in Newtown, PA!

📅 Start the intake process today to secure your spot

🌐 Learn more: www.compassionatecareabaservices.com

📚 References:

• Baer, D. M., Wolf, M. M., & Risley, T. R. (1968). Some current dimensions of applied behavior analysis. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 1(1), 91–97.

• Hanley, G. P., Jin, C. S., Vanselow, N. R., & Hanratty, L. A. (2014). Producing meaningful improvements in problem behavior of children with autism via synthesized analyses and treatments. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 47(1), 16–36.

• Bottema‐Beutel, K., Crowley, S., Sandbank, M., & Woynaroski, T. G. (2021). ABA and the autism community: Problems, controversies, and implications for practice. Autism, 25(4), 879–889.

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